The Diary of Many
by Faifu
Summary: Reflecting on Tomoyo and Sakura's viewpoints in different times.
1. Ch.1 Sonomi, Tomoyo, Sakura

The Diary of Many  
  
By Faifu  
  
http://www.faifu.com  
  
http://www.faifu.com/cc  
  
Dedicated to Miana who always understood me and believed in me when others wouldn't. Please don't leave me alone here.  
  
CCS does not belong to me except the parts where I made up and wrote. But this is my story based on life.  
  
  
  
Understand my destiny…  
  
Sonomi Daidouji  
  
It's strange how my daughter fell in love with yours Nadeshiko. A curse living in my bloodline and I see my daughter pining for yours even though Sakura doesn't know. You have no idea how much I hate him. My heart had broken but my mind says it was for the best and he took you away. The one that took you away from me but in a way…I was happy for you even though you weren't with me anymore and spent all your time with him. So ending up I had gotten married and soon after we both had our children…you died. I love you anyways and I had always hoped that history wouldn't repeat itself. But ending up, it did and I watch it wondering how could someone be so cruel as to do this?  
  
Watching…  
  
Tomoyo Daidouji  
  
I stand here looking into your eyes wondering how could an angel so beautiful, so dazzling could ever be mine. I'm always pretending to be happy when you're with him and set you two up…but each time I see you reach out to him and make him blush a part of me wants me to rip you away from him and another part of me wants me to be happy for you. Someday I'll have to get married and so will you and thus carry on the generation of my family always loving yours from a distance…a curse that was there even before the clow cards were invented. Somehow I can't stand another generation descended from me to continue on with this. I'll never find someone to love as much as I do you. My only wish is for you to be happy and one day my descendent will have a chance with one of yours.  
  
I watch your wedding with tears in my eyes people all around me thinking it's from happiness but no one could guess it was from sadness. Something that surprised me greatly was that Eriol cupped my chin and looked into my eyes deeply telling me that he knew my pain and understood. Maybe that's why I married him. Hiiragizawa-kun…  
  
A cruel cycle…  
  
Sakura Hiiragizawa  
  
I never understood my mom's obsession with Sakura-san until I met Faye, her daughter. Her chocolate brown eyes shining with happiness and I fell hard…but how could I fall in love with her? Someone who is my own gender but then I turn around to look at her kawaii face and fall even harder than before. Somehow I knew my Mom didn't love my Dad in the way he loves her. I can see it in her eyes that she has respect for him and in return he gives her love.  
  
Once, I went searching in the attic for my old stuff to give away and found leather bound book after she died. She had died of natural causes and my Dad told me she had died because she knew I was safe and strong enough to go out into the world and challenge it. Faye was with me all the way through thick and thin and finally I understood my Mom's obsession and let myself adore her the way she was.  
  
I left on a business trip for three years and promised I'd return with tears in my eyes. When I came back I saw Faye rushing to greet me with open arms but I had already noticed the ring on her left hand. My heart shattered into a million of pieces that day and wondered who was so cruel to let us be like this to pine after someone generation after generation never to truly love the one we love. Faye had already gotten married and I wished them happiness even though I haven't had any. When will this cycle end? Maybe I thought that marrying her brother Yuki was a good choice because maybe it would stop the cycle of disaster. This way I was close to her without having another generation ending like this…or maybe I'm wrong.  
  
Some things are better left untouched…  
  
In the dawn of time…  
  
Maybe the curse is over…  
  
Help me…  
  
Where are you?  
  
My love…  
  
My Sakura.  
  
Next chapter will be on Nadeshiko, Sakura, and Faye's points of view.  
  
Any ideas will be glad to be heard please review so I know what to put.  
  
Credit will be give where it is due. 


	2. Ch.2 Nadeshiko, Sakura, Faye

The Diary of Many Ch.2  
  
By Faifu  
  
http://www.faifu.com  
  
http://www.faifu.com/cc  
  
AN: I'm trying to figure out what was behind the meanings of Tomoyo's words. I'm not trying to say that Sakura and Tomoyo is a good couple or I believe in them or not. I just want to figure something out.  
  
CCS does not belong to me except the parts where I made up and wrote. But this is my story based on life.  
  
  
  
Happiness…  
  
Nadeshiko Kinomoto  
  
I see you always at my side, always happy for me. The day I married Fujitaka I looked for you to show my happiness to you. But I saw a lone tear fall from your brown eyes and knew inside that it wasn't from happiness. Few years later you married and we both had children. Your husband loved you dearly even knowing that you don't love him the way he does. A sickness had tore within me but I have no idea what…I hoped that your daughter wouldn't fall in love with mine like you did me. Someday…I had hoped to confront you with this and ask you why you fell in love with me.  
  
Bouncy…  
  
Sakura Kinomoto  
  
Lately I become more and more confused. Once you told me you loved me Tomoyo-chan. I had never gotten the meaning of it and told you that I loved you back and we'd always be best friends. Something flickered in your eyes and something in me had died. You set me up with Syaoran and I just assumed that it was nothing. We soon got married after college and had a child…Faye. Isn't that pretty? You seemed to think so. I saw you hold Faye in your arms just like she was yours and closed your eyes as if in pain…Why won't you tell me what's wrong? I had seen your tears at my wedding and saw inside of you that day. The true meaning of what your love for me was. I'm just sorry that I couldn't have time to realize or return it…maybe.  
  
Lifelike…  
  
Faye Li  
  
Oh Sakura…you've always known me so well. Yet I could never have sense your love for me. Your mom had died so early and yet so have I…You told me to wait for you. So I did…but I met someone who cared deeply for me and had gotten engaged with him.  
  
I rushed to greet you at the airport and she stared at my ring for a moment and a bright but dull smile lit up her face and she took my hand in hers and sighed sort of dreamily saying how she'll design my wedding gown and the wedding. Then I turned to my brother and fiancé and smiled; they smiled back but with Yuki-my brother-looking…no…staring at Sakura. Something hit my heart right then and there but I disregarded it and decided to set those two up.  
  
What's going on?  
  
Why can't I feel your love for me?  
  
Tell me once…  
  
Or tell me twice…  
  
Let me help you get over me…  
  
  
  
Any ideas for the next chapter will be glad to be heard please review so I know what to put.  
  
Credit will be give where it is due. 


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